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My First Pattaya Trip

My decision to head to Thailand was not entirely planned. I found that I was to have a little more time off work than I thought. Instead of the usually four weeks I had five. I thought, bugger I couldn’t stand being at home that long! I quickly settled on Thailand.

I was initially thinking of Phuket or perhaps Samui. After finding some information I decided that Pattaya was for me and booked a flight to Bangkok. Then I found a lot more information including a couple of forums. The information that I found concerned me somewhat. I am a bit shy and the possibility of having young attraction ladies trying to have their wicked way with me was a concern. I think that the information that I gathered before I left did lessen this concern a little. I am glad that I found the information as I would have hated to have gone to Pattaya without some background. It would not have been a pretty sight.

Anyway I arrived in Pattaya on the 22nd of March 2006 and left on the 4th of April. What follows is a little long. It is not in strict chronological order. I hope I doesn’t bore the reader too much.

When I originally booked my flight to Thailand I had planned to spend a few days in Bangkok before heading to Pattaya. After learning a little from forums I decided to just head straight to Pattaya and it turned out to be a wise decision. I would do Bangkok on another trip as I think there will be plenty more.

Early Lesson

After the red-eye flight to Bangkok and the two hour drive to Pattaya I arrived at my hotel around midday. I checked in and before long was in the land of sleep. I only planned to sleep for a couple of hours but slept more so there went my one and only plan for the day of doing a soapy.

Instead I tried a few beer bars. The first on Beach road then on walking street. I had read that Living Dolls 1 had some free beers on offer so I turned up there. I met one of the managers. I also met a couple of yanks that had a strange story. They were on the third day of a four day visit and they had only just worked out what was going on! As they were leaving one of them gave me his last condom as he was leaving the next day. I said ‘don’t you need this for tonight?? He didn’t answer and just left. Weird, eh!?

In no time at all it was 11PM and I decided to try the soapy that I had missed earlier. Despite reading what they were like was quite surprised by what I found. The goldfish bowl is really something else. I couldn’t help but thinking how demeaning it must be to the ladies. Anyway, the place was full and the pickings very slim indeed so I had a beer and left.

I pulled up for a beer bar in the Soi 2 Bar Complex. In no time at all I had a cutie sitting next to me. She didn’t speak much English so I quickly decided that she was probably fairly new. Her ‘sister’ behind the bar helped with communication. After lots of games of connect 4 (I won more times than she did and I’m hopeless) and a few beers I paid bar for her. This turned out to be one of my very few mistakes.

After the shower she slid into the bed with the towel around her. I thought that odd but what the heck! Anyway after relaxing a bit I decided it was time to initiate some fun. She was not very responsive at all. In fact she wouldn’t even let me touch her at all without pulling away. I tried for only a short time before I told her to dress and be on her way. I probably shouldn’t have given her money for short time but I didn’t want any hassles.

This lesson would come into play later in the trip.

Despite what I have said about this lady in retrospect I think she was a very nice person. Before heading to my hotel room I asked if she would like something to eat, as I was starving. She said yes and asked where I would like to go. As this was my first night I had no idea so I said ‘up to you.’ She asked a couple of more times to make sure that I wanted Issan food before we where off to somewhere that I still don’t know. Come to think of it I am sure her English improved a bit away from the bar or perhaps I was starting to adjust to the pigeon English.

I was amazed at how the food came to the table. It all came raw with a pot of some liquid and some hot coals. The girl then proceeded to cook the food right in front of me. When it was cooked it was absolutely delicious. I did have a fun time with this lady before heading back to the room so in hindsight it was still a good experience, just not what I expected.


After the disappointment of the first try I was back in Sabai Dee (a soapy) the following afternoon. There were far more ladies available and some real cuties. The hardest part was picking just one. Anyway I picked one and was upstairs in the room in no time. With bath filled she proceeded to wash every part of me. Now that I was clean it was time for a deep clean with lots of bubbles. I had to resist a number of times the urge to turn around to check how many ladies I had wriggling on my back. At times it felt like she was an octopus, how the hell did she touch all those places at the same time!? I was in heaven and almost blew my load too soon.

When I was finally clean enough it was time for a rinse off then onto the bed. I think you can guess the rest. I will certainly be enjoying this pleasure when I am again in Pattaya.

Meet Up

On the same night as the soapy I met up with a couple of people from one of the forums at the Cherry Bar in Soi 8. I had a great time and drank way too much. There was only one sensible guy with us who disappeared with a cutie while the rest of us travelled to the Soi 2 and 3 area for more beers. I got way too drunk and didn’t take anyone back to the hotel..

Oh Crap

I was in my hotel room reading a text message when I felt an urge to fart. I let it rip, as you do, and thought mmmm, that didn’t feel quite right, oh bugger. I suffered the runs for about a day, not seriously but just enough to be funny. The following day I had to rush back to the hotel room to satisfy the urge to fart. Sat down on the toilet and, you beauty, it was dry. An hour later another urge came while I was in the shower and let it rip. It was lucky I was in the shower!!!

Short Time

The smart one for a couple of nights earlier wanted to have a look at Soi 6 and I agreed to go along for a look but not to partake because of my bottom. The soapy lady a couple of days before had done a little anal area work and I didn’t feel like taking a chance of an accident.

The place really blew me away, how could a place like that exist at 4PM!? We tried a couple of places before settling into TG’s. Those girls are so cute in those school uniforms! With a partly naked lady gyrating on my groin it wasn’t long before I relented and quickly found myself upstairs showering. I have to say that short time is probably not my thing. I like to get relaxed with a lady before partaking. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time but I have a lot more fun when totally relaxed.

Long Time

Other than the first abortive attempt I only long timed three ladies while I was in Pattaya. I paid bar for a girl from the Cherry bar more times than I should have. I didn’t break the three days in a row rule. I bar fined her for a couple of nights then found something else for a day or two before going back. I did spend quite a bit of time with her and she is a great lady to spend some time with.

One night I went to Classroom 2 Agogo on Soi 2 with another guy. I didn’t take a lady that night but returned the following night. I asked for a lady I had in mind and she was quickly at my side. I got a little suspicious that she may have been a ladyboy and she failed one of my detection tests. Anyway thinking back I may have been wrong but at that stage I was a bit paranoid about it. The paranoia stemmed from the previous evening’s events. Both the guy I was with and I had been checking out a lovely bit of arse being shaken on the decks. We later found out that lovely bit of arse belonged to a ladyboy!

Now back to the story. After the lady I sent away left I got talking to one of the hostesses. She was keen for it and it was getting late. I knew from the previous evening that the place shut at 3am so being 2:40 I made arrangements for her to come to my hotel once she finished work. I walked out the door and 3 minutes later there was a bike horn being blown right up my arse. I turned around and it was Bee. So on the back I hoped and we were off to my hotel.

Bee is a tiny little thing with a hot body. Either she came during the sex or did a fine job pretending. I don’t care which as I had a lot of fun with her. If it was not for her obvious love of extracting money from farangs I could spend lots of time with her.

She did something a bit funny this night. After sex she said that she had to go do something and needed the short time money but said she would be back in half an hour. I said ye right, you won’t be back. I gave her the money and she disappeared. She did come back but about 2 hours later. This was the second lesson I learnt.

Good Time Texts

A wet T-shirt competition at TQ2 was taking a lot longer than I thought it would when I got a text from Bee. Here is an example of how easy it is to organise a good time in Pattaya and is the actually texts sent and received:

Bee: Where are you?

Me: At gogo bar in Walking Street. How are you? Are you working tonight?

Bee: I am working tonight. U want to see me or not i in my bar?

Me: I would like to see you again but maybe not tonight. Do you have a night off?

(an hour later)

Bee: Where are you now i want to see you tonight i not working and you want to see me or not?

Me: OK meet me at hotel at 11.30PM

Bee: OK

How easy is that!?

Anyway like a lot of things it is not always as easy as you think. She turned up with her sister in tow. I thought OK I'll buy us some food and see what happens. It turned out the 18 year old sister didn’t speak a word of English. She was obviously straight for the farm and probably looking for work. Walking back to the room Bee asks if her sister can sleep in my hotel room. I thought WTF and immediately knew that it would only end in misery for me. So sister went back to her room. I remembered the first lesson that Pattaya taught me and I would soon remember the second that it taught me.

Even though she looks it I don’t think that her sister is stoned. Just a bad picture!

Bee and sister

After having a lot of fun in the bed she tries to pull the same scam to leave for a while. This time it was to eat. Hang on, I only just fed her a couple of hours earlier! I told her if she left she was not to come back. I gave her short time money to which she whinged that she had rent to pay and had earlier been fined 400B for her and her sister for not wearing helmets. I just gave a wave as I closed the door behind her. This was lesson number three, if they pull this scam once they will do it next time.

On my second last night I found myself in the Soi 2 and 3 area again. I was trolling past the various bars trying to find something to my liking when I came across a guy I had met previously. So I just had to have a seat and a couple of beers there. Life is tough, eh? A lady caught my eye as she was how I like my women, small and fragile. Under the lights she looked ok too. Earlier in the trip I found that they use all those red lights for a reason. Once in white light she was not as attractive as I thought. But never mind I had paid bar, it was late and I had quite a few beers by then. I think her lack of assets in the looks department contributed to her enthusiasm in the sack. I had a good time so I was happy.

Koh Larn

One day I had organised to go to Koh Larn (an island off Pattaya) with a lady. We got back to the hotel quite late and agreed to wake at 9AM. At 8:45 I gave her a nudge and she grunted, rolled over and went back to sleep. Fifteen minutes later the alarm went off and I tried to raise her from her slumber. After 15 minutes I gave up, rolled over and fell asleep again. Lazy cow that she was! I think we both had too much drink the night before.

A few days later one of the guys I met in the Cherry Bar was taking his lady to the island so we hired a speed boat to get there. It was a fairly relaxing day and it was good to get away from the hassle and bustle of Pattaya. Unknown to me she had some family and friends on the island so I got dragged around to meet some of them.

Sad Time

The sad time came at 11:30am of the 4th of April. This is the time I had arranged to be picked up to go to the airport. The drive was not too bad as the driver was good company. The real sad time was the near on two hours that I spent at the airport waiting for the aeroplane. The flight was fairly depressing too.

By the time the wheels had been set down at home I had decided that I would be back in Pattaya as soon as possible. I was on the internet within an hour of arriving home.

I found the first few days back home quite depressing. I just couldn’t be bothered even going out. One night I did go to the pub for a meal and it was not good. I was checking out some young sexy women while I was there and all I could think was how pasty white they looked.

Happy Time

I looked at all my pictures many times. They all bring back very happy thoughts. I had a great time with both the locals and farangs who I met while I was there. Both of them combined made the trip excellent. I don’t think it would have been quite as good if it not for the guys who I met. The girls are great to talk to but you need to be able to communicate unhindered to have a great laugh. Don’t get me wrong the trip would have been very average if not for the girls. I just want to point out the importance of male company while there.

One thing for sure is I no longer look at Asian women the same way. Before the trip I didn’t really give them a second look unless they were particularly attractive. Now I find that I am spending a lot more time having a look.

I was out one night and saw a sexy young Asian lady. She was talking on one phone while texting on another phone. Are they the same world over?

Anyway within a couple of days of being home I booked a flight on the 19th of May so returned about 6 weeks after returning from the first trip. I have found that the best cure for the post-trip depression is to book another trip. Since my first trip to Pattaya I have been back 12 times. Last year I packed up my house in Australia and rented it out. I took a long term rental condo in Pattay and now live there when I am not away at work.

If there is anybody still reading I congratulate you for staying awake during all my ramblings.